The One Thing We Need If We Want To Serve Jesus

Generally, neither being a wreck nor getting in a wreck are good things. Yet being wrecked, at least when God’s involved, is what we all need.

Being wrecked, at least when God's involved, is what we all need. Click To Tweet

Wrecked can mean “to reduce to a ruinous state,” no thanks! But it can also mean to “bring about” or my personal favorite, “to rob, salvage, or repair wreckage or a wreck.”

No one wants to be left in a ruinous state, but to be salvaged or repaired? Yes, please—I need plenty of that! You, too?

search for Me

Handling It Alone

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the type to handle things on my own. To go it alone. To wear the persona that all is well, even when it is definitely not.

Over the nearly 8 years of miscarriages, I stuffed my pain deep inside. No one wants to repeatedly hear about my loss, I reasoned. Everyone has their own problems. Besides, I really am blessed; how can I complain?

So I “handled” it. 

When our little girl was first diagnosed with a lifelong disability, family and friends grieved with us. Yet I soon found myself stepping up to handle it. 

I can do this thing called disability. It is my cross to bear. 

This became a pattern in my life. Whenever pain entered my life, I stepped up. Whenever hard came, my resolve strengthened. I could manage it.

The problem was I became good at handling things alone that I should never have tried to shoulder myself. I grew to become an achiever, a doer. I invited God to come along to support me, but deep down I believed I had this.

That carried over into my work as an encourager as well.

As I began to type words on the screen, as I shared my thoughts with the online world, it slowly became a consuming task to handle well. I was driven to succeed in the writing world. To prove I could make it.

For nearly four years now I’ve shared the love and hope and grace of our Lord. And it was and is real. It was and is my heart. But first and foremost, ministry should beat in sync with His heart and be in His timing, not mine or yours.

First and foremost, ministry should beat in sync with God's heart and be in His timing, not mine or yours. Click To Tweet

Underlying all I was doing was this desire to do it well—for me—to prove myself. To learn enough and do enough to make things happen.

Wrecked, in a Good Way

And then last weekend the Lord wrecked me! At She Speaks, a writers, speakers and leaders conference hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries, message after message, speaker after speaker, addressed the motives behind our desire to minister. Is it because we want to bring glory to God or affirm ourselves? Are we waiting on the Lord’s timing or pushing our own timeline?

With each powerful message, I grew increasingly convicted to surrender more. As each layer was peeled back, I began to see how much my ministry had become about me doing well instead of me doing God’s will.

My ministry had become increasingly about me doing well instead of me doing God's will. Click To Tweet

I saw where I was striving instead of abiding and thriving. I pushed ahead where I should have followed the Lord’s leading instead.

I had subconsciously fallen into the trap of wanted to achieve more than I wanted to serve Him. 

And then She Speaks happened, and I was wrecked. An uncomfortable wrecking that is allowing God deeper access to my heart to repair and salvage what was becoming tainted and set on self. 

I didn’t invite this. I didn’t realize I even needed it. And I’m not certain how it will play out going forward. But I trust the end result will be beautiful because it will be from God’s hand. 

Needed Encouragement

I thank God He brought me to an event where the organizers didn’t offer us attendees what we wanted to hear but what we needed to hear. Because the kind of encouragement we need isn’t the kind that leaves us stuck where we’re at.

The encouragement we need is the kind that challenges and leaves us exposed to the Lord’s wrecking ball of love—a process that salvages and repairs in the deepest places of our hearts. Exactly what we received from She Speaks.

The encouragement we need is the kind that challenges and leaves us exposed to the Lord's wrecking ball of love. Click To Tweet

It’s a process that hurts deep and heals deep, bringing us in closer relationship with the Lord. It’s a process that leaves a beautiful outcome in the aftermath of the wreck.

“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Reflections: Has there been a time when the Lord has wrecked you? What did that mean for your life?

Not only am I thrilled to link up with Suzie Eller for #livefreeThursday and this week’s prompt, “wrecked (in a good way)” as well as Bonnie Gray from Faith Barista, and Kelly Balarie for #RaRalinkup, but I’m linking up specially with (in)courage to help celebrate their 6th birthday. I love these special linkups. They provide an abundance of great inspiration and encouragement all in one place. Click on the image below or links above to check them out.

LIVEFREETHURSDAY    beloved_brews_faithbarista_badge


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Find hope in your real-life struggles. We'll chase it together! I am a wife; mom of 4 (including a young adult daughter with special needs); miscarriage mom of 5; author & follower of Jesus Christ. I write, edit, speak and enjoy everything outdoors.

12 comments on “The One Thing We Need If We Want To Serve Jesus
  1. Crystal Sunshine Hornback says:

    “Are we waiting on the Lord’s timing or pushing our own timeline?” WOW! Had to ask myself this, in this very moment. And then, “The
    encouragement we need is the kind that challenges and leaves us exposed
    to the Lord’s wrecking ball of love—a process that salvages and repairs
    in the deepest places of our hearts.” YES, YES, YES! Thank you for these beautiful words today, Julie! #livefreeThursday

  2. Being wrecked is never easy. I’ve been wrecked in major ways a few times in my life, and in minor ways over and over. I used to see it as a bad thing, but now I see it as just another thing, and something that God can use. Although I still don’t like it! ha. Thanks for being vulnerable here, Julie.

  3. Meg Gemelli says:

    Aye, yay, yah…a big word today. I ask myself these questions all the time…when I become discouraged over comments (or lack thereof), when I question whether I’m hitting the heart of the scripture or story I’ve put into the world, etc. etc. etc. There is such peace when we wait on Him, though I too fall into the “achievement” trap. Thank you so much for this reminder as I set the day up to work. I’m writing a sticky note to tape on my computer right now!! Great job Julie:)

  4. SO, so, so good! And exactly what I needed to hear today. “I began to see how much my ministry had become about me doing well instead of me doing God’s will.” Yes, such a great reminder! The questions that you heard at She Speaks are questions I need to be asking as well. Thanks for this encouraging and timely post. Stopping by from #LiveFreeThursday. Keep writing, sister!!

  5. Cecelia Lester (Quiet Spirit) says:

    “. . . first and foremost, ministry should beat in sync with His heart and be in His timing, not mine or yours.” This is something I believe God has been trying to teach me this year. Thank you for verbalizing this for me.

  6. Laura Naiser says:

    Awesome post, Julie! I went to SheSpeaks in 2013 a few months before I launched my ministry. God had led me to it as I was trying to figure out how to process what I thought I was experiencing as his call to speak and write.
    I’m so grateful I had that experience. I was wrecked in a good way with my experience at SheSpeaks too. I found the confirmation I needed and wise advice. I remember the most profound thing I took from the conference was when Lysa TerKuerst shared how important it is to hold our ministry (all of our life, actually) in open hands — willing to let God do with it as He pleases.
    So glad you had the opportunity to go to the conference and that God used it to speak to you in such a personal and powerful way. I really am encouraged and inspired by your ministry!

    • Julie Sunne says:

      Thank you for the kind words, Laura! Lysa is a wise woman. Glad you found clarity in your calling. Although it is easy to fall into an achievement mentality, continue following the steps God lays out and He will bless your ministry in amazing ways as you move hearts for Him.

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