The Key to Loving Well (out of the life of babes)

“Out of the mouths of babes…” is an idiom uttered when a child says something particularly astute and wise.

Well I say, “out of the life of babes…,” because out of my children’s lives I’ve learned so many valuable lessons! Especially from the life of my daughter who has significant special needs. 

One area in which Rachel’s a particularly good teacher is loving well.

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You cannot get to know my daughter by simply asking her a few questions. You also can’t always take her “no” answer for no or her “yes” answer for yes.

And certainly don’t rely on her to always act as you think she should given a particular situation.

You have to dig deep to really get to know Rachel. And that’s true for many individuals, not only those with communication difficulties.

But one thing you never have to wonder about with Rachel is whether she loves you. That answer is always and obviously yes!

Key to Loving Well

Rachel doesn’t ask if a person needs some love. She doesn’t wait until someone deserves to be loved.

She simply loves!

Through hugs and kisses, she demonstrates her love for every living, breathing human being she comes in contact with.

Although my daughter has an extremely limited vocabulary and has significant intellectual delays, she understands something many of us don’t. 

Rachel understands that every single person needs to be loved. Right now. Right where they are. 

Every single person needs to be loved. Right now. Right where they are. Share on X

Because everyone hurts deep down…

or is facing a tough decision or a difficult circumstance…

or is feeling unworthy or unlovely…

or is frustrated or confused…

or wishes they would have made a different choice…

or has too much to get done…

or just had a fight with, or said unkind words to, a loved one…

or is just plain weary.

Everyone has a wound that begs to be bandaged with love. 

Everyone has a wound that begs to be bandaged with love. Share on X

But too often, as adults, we hide our love behind intellect and reasoning. We smother it with our own insecurity.

We need to learn how to love like a child: completely and unconditionally. 

Too often, as adults, we hide our love. We need to learn how to love like a child: completely and unconditionally. Share on X

We need to understand that everyone needs love. Right now. Right where they are. When we remember that, we’re well on our way to loving well. 

Understanding that everyone needs love, right now and right where they are, puts us on the path to loving well. Share on X

Love Everyone. Use Words If Necessary.

Based on what Rachel’s taught me, I’m changing the not-entirely-biblical saying “Preach the gospel. Use words if necessary.” to proclaim

“Love everyone. Use words if necessary.”

Yes, sometimes words of love are necessary.

They certainly are important in wedding vows. And most of us want to hear them from our spouses and say them regularly to our loved ones. 

In fact, I’d be ecstatic if I could hear those three little words from Rachel. 

But love goes far deeper than words.

Love is real and deep when it is felt in a hug, seen in a smile, experienced in being served and serving others.

It involves giving of time and attention, forgiveness and grace. 

Real and deep love is not earned or deserved, but given despite and regardless—exactly how the Savior loved! And much like my daughter demonstrates. 

Real and deep love is not earned or deserved, but given despite and regardless—exactly how the Savior loved! Share on X

Let’s pray the answer to whether we love becomes always and obviously yes! 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34 ESV

Reflections: Do you know others who love deeply and offer it without preconditions? What have you learned from them?

Going on 5 years of counting and I’m nearing 5,000 gifts in Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare! What a blessing! Here are numbers #4,810–4,830. Read my entire list by clicking here.