You Are Not a Failure, Live Free!

I lay awake, replaying the situation in the darkness. My son’s questioning of my authority and the house rules, and my response: ugly, belittling, and completely unnecessary. 

He had long since stormed to his room and I ducked to mine. The anger had dissipated, replaced by shame and regret. Harsh words hung in the air, evidence of another bedtime fiasco.

And the self-doubt began.  

Was this the essence of my mothering? Epic failure.

Is this what our mother/son relationship had become? Forever strained.

After wrestling with the reason for my inappropriate response and eventually repenting, the answer to both questions became clear: No. 

This was but a single situation. Not one to be proud of, certainly. But projecting one episode as representative of all my years of motherhood gives a moment far too much power.

Oh, responses matter, definitely! Words and actions have consequences, no doubt! But a sad episode doesn’t reflect the entire picture. Doing so discounts a powerful factor: the gift of grace, which all followers of the Lord Jesus Christ inherit. 

I don’t truly understand grace. But I do know that without grace we would all be lost, drowning in our unrighteousness—never able to find peace and be reconciled to God.

The Lamb of God has “set us free from our sins by His blood” (Rev. 1:5). His gift of grace covers all our sins. None are too small or too big.

Yet, if you’re like me, for some twisted reason, you often hold onto the guilt of your failings. Much to Satan’s glee, you and I tend to resurrect our worse failures with which to beat ourselves up when we are already down.

But by rejecting the Lord’s forgiveness and cleansing—by rejecting His gift of grace—we’re rejecting the sacrifice He made for us. As if being bloodied, humiliated, crucified, and left to bear the consequences of the sin of the entire world, isn’t good enough. 

What a shameful display of gratitude we offer!

To live a life in Christ, to live as a child of God, is to hold fast to His promise of mercy, forgiveness, and redemption. We can live boldly in the Lord’s grace—stumbling in our flesh, most assuredly, but not left to be mired in the quick sand of unrighteousness. 

The day after my tyrannical mom episode dawned bloated with an assured hope. 

• The hope for a new beginning: a transformation of this mother’s heart, a renewal of the relationship with my son, 
• The hope that comes from being a beloved child of God: bathed in a love that never ends,
• The hope that comes from living under the grace of our Lord: a priceless gift given out of His love. 

My dear friends, awake to the hope of each new grace-filled day. Let yourself live free in Christ!