Losing at Love Is Worth the Risk

“Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all.”
—Alfred Lord Tennyson

'Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all.' —Alfred Lord Tennyson Click To Tweet

The Dichotomy

Love is such a dichotomy. On one hand, it radiates warmth and joy. On the other, it produces deep pain. 

Most of us have experienced both sides of the love “coin” to some degree.

Many have enjoyed a strong, beautiful love. A nurturing family. A match made in heaven. Deep friendships. 

And some have lived through excruciating love. Marriage breakup. Abuse by those who were trusted. Death of a child. Debilitating illness of parents. 

For those whose heart has been wrenched and battered, it is tempting to put up a wall around it. Ward out love to ward out pain. 

My first baby left me long before I could hold her tiny finger or even see her, but not before she captured my heart. Five awful times, I welcomed love in, only to be greeted by something dark and tainted. Love turned ugly, stabbing and twisting me until I writhed with pain.

It was tempting to never risk that love again. 

Because what’s the point of loving, really loving, when it will may end in heartbreak? Can’t we just love a little and call it good? Why open our hearts to a deeper trauma? 

Despite the potential for a painful fallout, we are called to love passionately and love often. In obedience to and as a reflection of the Lord.  

But still questions linger. What if (no, when) we lose in the game of love? What do we hold onto then? How do we fill in the gaping holes left? How can we put the shattered pieces back together?

We only need to look at the cross, blood stained and empty to know we have a Father who intimately understands the extreme aspects of love. Both it’s mountaintop highs and its darkest valleys.  

We only need to look at the cross, blood stained and empty to know we have a Father who intimately understands the extreme aspects of love. Both it's mountaintop highs and its darkest valleys. Click To Tweet

God Understands

Our God “gets” love and loss. He knows what it is like to lay down something beloved. 

He knows that a life devoid of love, may skirt the stab of loss, but it harbors an even more profound pain: an emptiness and loneliness that leaves us passionless and lifeless.

A life devoid of love may skirt the stab of loss, but it harbors an even more profound pain: an emptiness and loneliness that leaves us passionless and lifeless. Click To Tweet

Love gives so much: a life of deep meaning; moments of pure joy; a character stretched and pulled to more closely resemble our Maker.   

We need to embrace love, to let it flow around us and capture our hearts, repeatedly. And we need to acknowledge the great sorrow and, yet, the great impact of loved lost.  

Love is a risk—no denying that. But to never love is far riskier. It is worth it to lose at love because it is often in the losing that we gain the most.

Love is a risk—no denying that. But to never love is far riskier. It is worth it to lose at love because it is often in the losing that we gain the most. Click To Tweet

 “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another.  By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Reflections: Is there something preventing you from stepping out in love? What is one step you can take in that direction?

Linking with Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience in 2013 with my Joy Dare list for Multitude Mondays (#2061–2081, read the entire list by clicking here):

• Sharing a walk with Dad; The kids & I spent the afternoon playing games w/ Mom; Wild preserves canned & labeled
• Bean canning done for the year!; Learning some history of our community–love it!; Hubby helping w/ windows & kiddos
• Deer and turkey mingling together in the field; Coyotes howling close; Privilege of donating blood
• My little girl’s “chatter” as she flips lights off fm room to room; Little piggy horn honking; Teaching edible outdoors
• A day that flowed busily but peacefully; Bees buzzing the hummingbird feeder; Audiobooks–finding joy in wogging w/ them
• Strange little katydids; Done w/ the hard work of canning pears; Gifting–just because
• Grandparents; Embarking on a college tour w/ my high school son & seeing my college son in the process; Detour memories
  

 Also linking with this wonderful site: