It’s Not Fair! (maybe that’s the greatest blessing of all)

When life doesn’t seem fair, it may be because it truly isn’t—and that might be the greatest blessing of all. 

When life doesn't seem fair, it may be because it truly isn't—and that might be the greatest blessing of all. Click To Tweet

not fair, but blessed

Not Fair

“It’s not fair,” I muttered as I walked past my husband, his feet up as he continued reading his book. I filled the water bottle for my daughter and glanced at him, my lips a firm line.

He’s just sitting there while I still have our daughter to tuck in and a dishwasher to empty and refill. And I would like to read too. As I fixated on the injustice of it all, the negative thoughts threatened to turn into a self-righteous rant.

As my lips parted to spew out the words, a fresh thought wrapped around me. I’m about to shatter my own peace, a contentment I recently prayed about. Is it worth it? 

Fixating on a hurt or slight can mar our perspective, making something seem far worse than it really is (being the end of the day didn’t help either). I needed to “re-story” the situation, to look at it in a different light. 

Fixating on a hurt or slight can mar our perspective, making something seem far worse than it really is. Click To Tweet

Yes, Blessed

My daughter, Rachel, and I had just enjoyed a lovely walk through our timber. As the sun set, we were treated to the eerie howl of a pack of coyotes in the not-so-distant field.

I prayed while we walked, thanking God for His many blessings. His faithfulness through years marked by many hills and valleys, and now, a dream fulfilled of a new house on land we purchased years ago.

Blessed. The truth settled in. I was blessed. We were blessed.

Of course not everything everyday goes as we would like it to. We face daily trials. And some of my concerns and complaints about my husband have merit. As do some of his toward me. Because we occasionally fail each other. 

But not fair? What’s not fair?

That I have time and space to think and pray while I do the mindless job of tidying up the kitchen? That I must use running water and load a machine that washes the dishes for me? That I’m asked to serve the family I love?

not fair, but blessed

A New Perspective

That day I nearly let my feeling of being slighted shatter the peace and joy of the previous hour. How quickly I forget. How quickly I flip from feeling settled to disturbed, from feeling loved to slighted, from enjoying life to believing it’s unfair.

Instead of immediately reacting out of disappointment or pain, maybe I should set aside my kneejerk reaction and consider the blessings that remain. That would give peace and joy a fighting chance. 

Setting aside kneejerk reactions to what we consider unfair (and the resulting disappointment and pain) and considering the blessings that remain, give peace and joy a fighting chance. #perspective Click To Tweet

But you know what? I am right about one thing; it isn’t fair. It truly isn’t fair that I’ve been so very blessed!

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8, CSB)

not fair, but blessed

Reflections: It’s easy to let a day’s happenings or something a loved one does (or doesn’t do) irritate us, blinding us to the blessings in our lives. By reminding ourselves how blessed we truly are, we can wipe the disappointment and/or frustration from our eyes. So go ahead, name one way you are blessed. Please consider sharing it in the comments to encourage one another.  

By His grace ≈


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Find hope in your real-life struggles. We'll chase it together! I am a wife; mom of 4 (including a young adult daughter with special needs); miscarriage mom of 5; author & follower of Jesus Christ. I write, edit, speak and enjoy everything outdoors.

2 comments on “It’s Not Fair! (maybe that’s the greatest blessing of all)
  1. Feeling blessed by my husband who responded in kind when a friend showed up to the door along with the dog barking and oven beeping…as he was on two conference calls! The chaos can be a blessing too. We are grateful for a shared space we call home.

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