Why You Should Never Suffer in Silence

Gold Brush Stroke

By hiding our suffering, we suppress the evidence of God’s faithfulness as well.

By hiding our suffering, we suppress the evidence of God's faithfulness as well. Share on X

Recently a lady who is going through a terribly difficult season confessed her feeling of isolation. She said she knew others cared and at times became overwhelmed with the love offered to her family.

Yet at other times she felt like she was all alone on an island, just trying to survive.

And for once I had the perfect words to describe the occasional feelings I experience while raising a child with an undiagnosed genetic syndrome. I know I’m loved and others care, …

… and yet, I experience hours and even days when I feel isolated on an island, just trying to survive.  

you should never suffer in silence

Deserted Islands

I don’t believe this island experience is exclusive to me or my friend. In some sense, we all have a deserted island we frequent. 

Maybe we’re sent there by a prodigal.

Maybe a loved one who is terminally ill.

Maybe a disability.

Maybe a financial crisis.

Maybe the sweet but hard and lonely season of caring for babies. 

Maybe a suffocating or dying marriage. 

Maybe an extended and unwanted season of singleness.

A place where as Believers we know God is present, yet we feel so very alone in our specific needs.

Sharing Our Pain and God’s Glory

While soaking in this island metaphor, I began to wonder, If we all possess an area of hurt in our lives, why are we always “okay”? Why is our default answer to the question, How are you?, usually “fine”? 

Why don’t we invite others to our island of grief, so it’s no longer devoid of others, and so we can display God’s work through our suffering?

Even Jesus understood the importance of having friends around during times of deep distress (see the Gethsemane account in Matthew 26). 

Having others around won’t necessarily solve our problems, but it will bring us a measure of comfort in our misery. And more importantly, it will offer witness to God’s faithfulness, to His glory. 

Inviting others into our suffering will bring us comfort and will offer witness to God's faithfulness. Share on X

Sharing in the Suffering of Christ

We offer a disservice to ourselves, to others, and to the Lord by pretending we are okay when we’re not.

When we suffer in silence, we suppress the testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness. But when we invite others into our suffering, we are exposing the evidence,

sharing in the suffering of Christ to display His glory. 

“But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:13 ESV

So don’t tell me you’re okay when you’re not. Don’t say all is fine when you’re hurting. 

Because I want to sit with you on your island. I want to be there for you in your pain. And I need you to be there for me in mine.

I need to share with you and you need to share with me the work of the Lord in and through our most difficult and painful experiences.

The seeds of hope are planted and watered through the evidence of God’s faithfulness in the trials of this earthly life. 

The seeds of hope are planted and watered thru evidence of God's faithfulness in the trials of this earthly life. Share on X

So invite someone to sit with you when you find yourself on your island yet again and be mutually encouraged in the hope that all will one day be well …

… a day when the full extent of God’s glory will be revealed and where there will be no more tears! 

“We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; 9 we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. 10 We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who live are always given over to death because of Jesus, so that Jesus’ life may also be revealed in our mortal flesh.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-11 HCSB

Reflections: What island of suffering do you occasionally find yourself on? How can we pray for you? 

Going on 5 years of counting and I’m nearing 5,000 gifts in Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare! What a blessing! Here are numbers #4,831–4,851. Read my entire list by clicking here.

  • Spotting the first spider of spring; Trials that bring us growth and perspective and to our knees; Attending a wonderful high school concert
  • Rachel’s squeal everytime she tossed me the football to then throw to Joey; Experimenting with Rach’s new communication software on an iPad; Garden seed picked out and ready to order
  • Still having kiddos home to awake for school: tend to overlook the gift this is at times; Preparing my garden bed with the help of two of my favorite guys; Mid-week Lenten services
  • Spring being sprung; Seeing a video of Zach and the Wheaton College Men’s Glee Club singing the National Anthem at a Dallas Maverick’s BB game on their spring break tour; Joey’s band concert and hearing the progression from 5th grade to HS bands
  • A gorgeous morning; Lunch with a friend; Waiting to pick up Joey with the windows rolled down
  • A morning to write; An afternoon to bake; An evening to watch show choir and jazz, cheering on high school musicians, including Joey, with my man
  • Getting my baked goods delivered on time for a benefit; Being part of a large outpouring of support for a local family in need: grateful to be able to serve; Finding some bargain clothes for Rach


By His Grace,



  1. Cindy on March 14, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    As hard as it is, I must stay on my island. My pain was caused by someone close to me. Living in a very small rural area if I share my story it will negatively effect their reputation. I am grateful that God has brought books, blogs, and scripture to me in this healing journey.

  2. Cecelia Lester (Quiet Spirit) on March 15, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    When trouble strikes us or our family, we tend to forget that God said he would never leave us or forsake us. Raising a child who could have been considered ‘multiply handicapped’ gave me a level of compassion that I have been able to use in different ways. Being in a stressful marriage that, for the most part, straightened out, also taught me to rely on Jesus for everything. Yes, there were times I felt alone. But those were the times God could work in my life, if I let Him.

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Julie Sunne

Hello, I'm Julie, an imperfect wife and mother of four. Life in this broken world is not always easy. Yet, joy can be found in each day through the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I find it's easy for our day's blessings to get lost in its happenings. But God's "mercies never end" (Lamentations 3:22) and His "grace is sufficient" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

May the posts and pages on this site offer you a measure of peace and encouragement.

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