The Pain of Releasing

Gold Brush Stroke

At The Gypsy Mama, “we take five minutes on Friday and write like we used to finger paint. For joy in the process. No matter how messy the result.” Today we write on …

Ache…

flyingGO

The ache in my heart swells with almost every event.
Each high school activity, each family outing has LAST written all over it.

A mother’s heart. So fragile. So easily bruised. Soon my son, my firstborn will go out into the world, to begin his own life. To follow the plan the Lord has stamped with his name.

I am so proud of him. And know I can’t hold on forever. If I squeeze too tightly, his spirit will be crushed.

But my heart is tender, the pain real. His presence in this house, in our daily lives will be missed in so many ways.

Nonetheless, he is not mine to keep. He was given to us for a season—to nurture, discipline, and guide.

Soon it will be time to release the young boy become man. To let him spread his wings.

To allow him to follow his preordained path. To be sent into the world.

He is not mine. He is yours, Lord.

As Hannah gave Samuel to you, so I give you Daniel (Forgive me for assuming he was mine to give!).

Dull the ache with Your unending presence, dear Father.

END

“Jesus therefore said to them again, ‘Peace be with you; as the Father has sent me, I also send you?’” (John 20:21, NASB).

Does your heart ache today? Praying the salve of the Lord’s presence will dull the pain.

 

By His Grace,

Julie

9 Comments

  1. Jacqui on March 2, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    I loved your post! My children are still very young, so I have yet to fully relate…but that day will come. In the meantime, as I learn to release them in other ways, I need to remember your prayer, “Forgive me for assuming he were mine to give!” Very well said!

    • juliesunne on March 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

      So easy to say, Jacqui, so difficult to live. But God didn’t call us to do easy, did He? Thanks for blessing me with your words.

  2. Jerralea on March 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    I understand this ache. Two of mine are out in the world, and I have to let them go. I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it does. But I know I must trust. Trust I did my job. Trust that He will do what seems to be the impossible. It will all turn out well.

    • juliesunne on March 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

      Thanks for the encouragement, Jerralea. I need as much as I can get! The paradox is that I am really excited for him, and he is ready, but I get lost in focusing on the sense of emptiness I will feel without him in the home, how much I will miss him. Trust, faith, surrender–all necessary to celebrate through the changes in life.

  3. Linda Thomas on March 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Beautiful. You have shared your pain–and your joys–so eloquently. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my son’s senior year of high school because his oldest (my oldest grandchild) graduates from high school about 10 weeks from now. Oh, how I remember that stinging throbbing ache I felt that whole year, knowing he was moving out and into the world of college 1300 miles away. Your faith in knowing your son is in God’s hands and proceeding to fulfill God’s plan for him is very touching, very real, very honorable. God bless you throughout it all.

    Linda

    • juliesunne on March 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

      Thank you, Linda, for sharing! Your words are a blessing to me.

  4. […] Pain of Releasing at Julie Sunne.  This post resonated in me deeply.  […]

    • juliesunne on March 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

      Thanks for sharing my post, Melissa. I’m grateful my words touched you.

  5. […] year of giving our oldest our blessing as he heads more than 8 hours east to attend college (see The Pain of Releasing and Releasing for more on my thoughts from his first year). Although there is great joy in seeing […]

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Julie Sunne

Hello, I'm Julie, an imperfect wife and mother of four. Life in this broken world is not always easy. Yet, joy can be found in each day through the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I find it's easy for our day's blessings to get lost in its happenings. But God's "mercies never end" (Lamentations 3:22) and His "grace is sufficient" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

May the posts and pages on this site offer you a measure of peace and encouragement.

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