Trust God’s Refining Grace (What We Need; Maybe Not What We Want)

God provides what we need, not necessarily what we want, and that’s a good thing. Trust Him to work for your good in and through the pain. Trust His refining grace. 

God provides what we need, not necessarily what we want, and that's a good thing. Trust Him to work for your good in and through the pain. Trust His refining grace. Share on X

God’s Refining Grace

If you would have asked me what I needed 30 years ago as a young wife, my answer would have been something along the lines of healthy children; a comfortable home; a decent income; a Christ-following, truth-centered church. 

Instead, God has chosen to give me perspective, patience, perseverance, and compassion. In the forge of pain and loss, He has been refining my character and growing my faith. Years ago, I never thought I needed refining in some of those areas. Looking back, I know how desperately I did.

In the forge of pain and loss, God has been refining my character and growing my faith. Years ago, I never thought I needed refining in some of those areas. Looking back, I know how desperately I did. Share on X

God Knows Best

Left to our own devices, we never would prescribe the pain and discomfort it would take to transform us into a clearer likeness of Jesus Christ. But the Lord sees the big picture. As our Creator, He knows everything about us, including what it will take to prepare us to run our race and serve Him. He knows where and what we lack and what it will take to smooth those rough edges of our character and soften our hearts. 

Hardships in our lives have purpose. Nobody welcomes suffering, but when we know the heart of God, we can trust that whatever pain He allows will ultimately be for our good and for the good of others in our lives. 

Hardships in our lives have purpose. When we know the heart of God, we can trust that whatever pain He allows will ultimately be for our good and for that of others. Share on X

Celebrating

There have been many transforming events in my life: ways that God’s refining grace has met me. Most of them involve pain. The most powerful include experiencing multiple miscarriages and the birth of my daughter, who has lifelong intellectual and physical disabilities. Today, we’re celebrating the latter of those events, as our precious girl turns 22 years old. She’s a refining grace that I’m growing to appreciate more everyday.

And although she can’t read it and will likely not understand much of it were I to read it to her, please humor me as I write my daughter a letter. In a sense, it’s a prayer of gratitude as well. 

A Letter/Prayer

Darling Rachel, You will never understand the impact you’ve had on my life. Through the years I’ve cried many tears over you. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow. That will not change going forward. But the incredible love I have for you and the joy of being your mom make it all worthwhile.

And while life with you is truly beautiful, there is real pain too. The pain of trying to create a future for you that will be safe. The pain of caring for your needs as I age. The pain of missing the things I see other mothers/daughters doing together that we can’t. But that pain has given me a stronger faith. It’s grown in me empathy for others who act or look different. It’s made me more patient (although I have a long way to go in that area) and has given me a new perspective of what “abundant life” means.

Rachel, I’m so grateful God gave you to us. He knew I needed a daughter different from the one I would have designed in my “perfect little world.” He knew I needed one who would challenge and inspire me to look beyond myself and become all He created me to be (still moving in that direction), even as I strive to help you become all you were created to be. No, God didn’t made a mistake when He gave you to us. He gave us just what we needed, like He always does. Love you, Sweetheart! Happy birthday! 

“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” Isaiah 48:10

Your Turn

Looking back, where have you seen the hands of God in your life? What painful events has God used to transform you into all you were created to be? Look closely, these sometimes “hidden” blessings are there.