Worth Fighting For

A dashing man and a lady in white. The start of a fairy tale: one with a crisis (brief), a daring adventure,  and a dramatic rescue by said dashing man. One that ends with the prince and princess riding off into the sunset happily ever after, staring dreamily into each others’ eyes.

This was my vision of marriage on that important day 23 years ago (yesterday). Isn’t this how all marriage journeys are supposed to go? Starry eyed and naive, I thought so.

More than two decades of wedded bliss later, I have a much more realistic idea of what this “forever” promise looks like.

True, the joining of two almost always begins with a dashing man (at least in the eyes of the lady in white). And a crisis is a given (multiple crises are typical). Sometimes the “prince” even succeeds in being the rescuer on occasion.

But “happily ever after” is neither a given nor easy to obtain.

Marriage Is Hard Work

Marriage is hard work. Some of the hardest you will face.

Relationships of any kind require nurturing. But when two people with different backgrounds, separate agendas, and sinful natures dedicate their lives to each other, it rarely results in an easy transition.

The assaults on traditional marriage are many. No longer is “marriage ’till death do us part” the norm. By most stats 50 percent or more of marriages end in divorce, which rises to an unbelievable 75 percent when a couple lives together before tying the knot.

Reasons abound for these alarming numbers, some of which are legitimate although still incredibly sad. And there are many great books, bible studies, counselors, and courses available to support marriage. So I won’t delve into either of these topics in this post.

The point I want to leave you with is that the institution of marriage is worth fighting for. Your marriage is worth any amount of effort you can muster to hold onto it.

Marriage Is Worth Fighting For

Don’t let your fairy tale turn into a horror story. Don’t let apathy and bitterness creep in to your marriage. Learn to communicate. Find ways to serve each other. Nurture your love. Work hard to maintain a strong marriage. 

I’m grateful to be celebrating 23 years of marriage. I’m grateful not because our marriage is perfect—it’s not even close. Not because it’s been easy—it hasn’t been. Not because we always agree with each other—we don’t. Not because it’s always been enjoyable—honestly, some days just stink. Not because it’s the fairy tale I once imagined it would be—it’s not—yet.

I’m exceedingly grateful for my marriage because my husband and I are committed to doing life together, to sharing the ups and downs as a couple.

I’m thankful because we are committed to honoring the vow we made to God, our family, and each other: the promise to “remain husband and wife to death do us part.”

And that’s a promise worth fighting for. (Riding off into the sunset will be a nice epilogue, don’t you think?)

“For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh?” (Matthew 19:5)

Reflections: Are you alarmed by the startling statistics on the failure of marriages? Does your marriage need a tuneup? Can you identify one way to nurture your relationship with your spouse today?

Linking with Ann Voskamp for my Joy Dare list  for Multitude Mondays (#1056–1076, read them all by clicking here):

• Crunch of leaves underfoot; Assault of leaf colors; Just me and my girl on a walk
• Near full moon in the mornign sky; Firey orange leaf canopy over the road; Books that convict and inspire
• Squirrels and deer playing in early morning sun; My daughter’s squeel as I came to tuck her in bed; Praise songs
• God’s planning ability:); Thoroughness of doctors recently; Living in a land of freedom and abundance
• Catnip tea when under the weather; Warm clothes on a blustery day; Gratitude fm Rachel when I sewed her new blankie
• Nose pulls and knuckle sandwiches; Sharing the blustery cold with other supportive parents; Interesting work
• 23 years with my man; Excited 5th & 6th grade football players; Potato Chowder on a cold day