Love Lived Out (a quest for something better)

“I love you.”

The words slip out casually—the product of 22 years (now more than 28!) of marriage—through times of better and times of worse.

They are the right words. The words that should be voiced between a wedded couple.

Empty Words?

But do the words ring hollow? Do my actions support my declaration? Is that love proclaimed defined in my day-to-day living?

Unfortunately, I fare rather poorly on the litmus test of love, 1 Corinthians 13: 4–7:

Love is patient, (unless tasks are not getting done according to my timeline)

love is kind. (except when I’m wronged)

It does not envy, (but he gets time off!)

it does not boast, (only when craving attention)

it is not proud. (although I’m certain I’ve worked harder)

It does not dishonor others, (I’m only telling the truth about his “faults”)

it is not self-seeking, (unless I want something)

it is not easily angered, (only when I don’t get my way)

it keeps no record of wrongs. (until we’re arguing)

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (my truth)

It always protects, (from others’ wounds, not mine)

always trusts, (that I might have a better plan)

always hopes, (he will change)

always perseveres. (certain I can make him more sensitive)

I cringe as I honestly assess the list—failing miserably. What is stopping me from actively loving my man? I say the right words, and I mean them. Why is it so hard to live them?

Good News: A Loved Lived

It hasn’t always been this way. Early on, I couldn’t show my love enough. Now life has worn me down, making me tired and self-focused. My grades in the love arena have tumbled as the years have added up.

The good news is my present doesn’t have to be my future! We have a wonderful Counselor in the love department, a God of redos and startovers. He perfectly models the servant attitude of love in action.

“I love you” doesn’t have to remain just a phrase I say. It can be the way I live, exchanging petty complaints for the grace to say “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life” and doing it. Displaying the kind of servant-love that never quits giving.

'I love you' doesn't have to remain just a phrase to say. God's love can transform our hearts to live out that love! Share on X

Allowing the Father’s love to transform a wife’s heart.

“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

Reflections: How do you test in the area of love? Do you merely say the words, or are they lived out in your daily actions? It is never too late to express your love for your spouse. Die to yourself today and begin living a life of love.

For the first time, I am linking up with Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience, practicing love for her