The Secret To Mothering Well

Motherhood: As much as I love it, I also harbor some fear of the responsibility. It seems one minute I handle it relatively well and the next fail at it miserably. Mothering well requires surrender.

God's Plan for Mothering

The truth is, I’m incapable of mothering consistently well on my own. This is something I didn’t understand in the early years. I thought I just needed to try harder.

But left to my own capabilities, I have far too little patience, am far too self-centered, and let emotions guide me far too often to be a good mother.

No doubt I love my children. Tons! But human love wears mighty thin during sleepless nights, hormone-packed moments, endless demands, impossible self-expectations, and Satan’s attacks.

Love for my children can only carry me so far. Eventually, my selfishness bleeds through and any chance at winning a good parenting award quickly flies out the window.

Love for my children can only carry me so far. Eventually, my selfishness bleeds through. Click To Tweet

Thank God, though, I’ve slowly, slowly, slowly, found the key to mothering well.

Mothering Well

To do this mothering thing consistently well, is quite simple, yet very difficult to do. Because it involves giving up control: something most of us dread doing.

Mothering consistently well requires giving up control; something most of us dread. Click To Tweet

This parenting thing has to be turned over to the One who birthed it (pun intended):

turned over to the One who knows our children intimately;

to the One who wove each of them together in their mother’s womb;

to the One who handpicked you for your child (whether you gave birth, adopted, or are mothering the child of another) and your child for you.

Mothering well—parenting well—requires our thoughts, actions, and feelings to be filtered through the Lord. Because only He has infinite patience, infinite wisdom, infinite strength. All attributes critical for good parenting.

Without God at the center of our mothering, we might as well throw up our hands in surrender…

On second thought, go ahead and throw up those hands in surrender anyway. After all, surrendering our will, our hope of doing it in our strength, is the only way to keep Him at the center!

Without God at the center of our mothering, we might as well throw up our hands in surrender. Click To Tweet

God’s Plan for Mothers

If you’ve been a mom long, you know everyone’s mothering experience is different. Mothering is certainly not cookie cutter.

But God has a plan for mothers. And as with all of His plans, His mom-plan is a good one, a great one really.

Mothers are to be comforters (Isaiah 66:13) and caregivers (Proverbs 31:27). They are to embody kindness (Proverbs 31:26), gentleness (Galatians 5:22-23), and forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32).

Moms are to be wise (Proverbs 31:26) and joyful (Psalms 113:9), devoted (2 Kings 4:30) and loving (Titus 2:3-5). She must discipline effectively (Proverbs 13:24) and teach diligently (Deuteronomy 4:9). A good mother is to be fruitful (Proverbs 31:14-16), humble (Psalm 147:6), and compassionate (Isaiah 49:15).

Change Me!

Yikes! God’s plan may be a great one, but at least for me, it is impossible. There are times I may get one of those right. On a good day, maybe even a few. But all of them? No way.

Left on my own, I’m certainly a failure as a mom. But the beauty is I am never on my own in this mothering thing. I was never supposed to be and never have to be.

God’s plan for mothering was never meant to be one we carry out without Him. He knew we couldn’t. To parent effectively our hearts need to be changed from a fleshly one to one in tuned with the spirit.

God's plan for mothering was never meant to be one we carry out without Him. Click To Tweet

I know without the Lord’s help, I am a poor example of a mother, following miserably short of what is needed. I have come to acknowledge that. And so you’ll find me praying:

O change me, dear Lord. Make me into the Mom you want me to be. As a mom and as a woman, I am a work in progress. A masterpiece-in-the-making, to be completed in glory. For my children, be for me what I cannot.

Thank you for embodying the attributes of perfect mother, for giving us, not only the plan, but the grace to be good mothers. Let your will for my family be accomplished through me. In Christ’s precious name. Amen!

Through such surrendering, I’ve become a far better (not perfect) mother.

So lovely Moms, let God do His work in you. Don’t get weighed down by the imperfections still present.

Pray for God to reveal those imperfections and then offer them up: a sacrifice for Him to do as He will with them. Let Him change you.

Let Him help you be just the right mom for your children.

“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, hebears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Reflections: For biological mothers, adoptive mothers, and mothers at heart: What is the hardest thing you’ve walked through in your mothering journey? What about the act of surrendering to God’s plan for mothering made that experience (or would have made that experience) easier? 

I’m thrilled to link up with Suzie Eller for #livefreeThursday and this week’s prompt, “change me” and with Bonnie Gray, the Faith Barista, for Beloved Brews. I love these special linkups. They provide an abundance of great inspiration and encouragement all in one place. Click on the images below to check them out.

By His grace ≈


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Find hope in your real-life struggles. We'll chase it together! I am a wife; mom of 4 (including a young adult daughter with special needs); miscarriage mom of 5; author & follower of Jesus Christ. I write, edit, speak and enjoy everything outdoors.

2 comments on “The Secret To Mothering Well
  1. Kristi Woods says:

    Julie, what a timely and encouraging post you’ve published today. After a run-in with our teen this morning, my surrender needs an extra dose.Thanking Jesus for showing the way while visiting you via #livefreeThursday.

    • Julie Sunne says:

      Thank you, Kristi. Run-ins with teens aren’t all that unusual around this house either. 🙂 Thank God for His grace to guide by His example and strength.

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