Do you value self-sufficiency? I do—or at least did.
Self-sufficiency is an attribute I’ve cultivated through the years. I consider myself a strong woman, and as such, believe I can handle things on my own.
Navigating life’s turbulent waters on one’s own can feel empowering, but I’ve learned, it’s really an illusion.
For nothing of beauty and life stands alone. Just look around at God’s creation. Taken out of their relationships, their communities, their ecosystems, plants and animals rarely thrive. Sometimes even the predator/prey nature of critters is offset by the service one can provide for the other (think shark and remora [cleaner fish]).
Nothing points out the fallacy of self-sufficiency like hardship. In our hurt, we often isolate ourselves further, which only exasperates the pain. We believe no one understands, no one is suffering the same way, no one can help.
In our belief that we are alone, we buy into one of Satan’s greatest lies.
Over the weekend I finished a wonderful book written by Katie Ganshert, Wildflowers from Winter, which painted a vivid picture of the desert of self-sufficiency and addressed hope and redemption. This has been the first book I’ve read purely for pleasure in a very long time. It didn’t disappoint.
In her debut novel, Katie focuses on the life of a self-made, self-sufficient young lady with a hurtful past. Determined to live her life on her own, she sees little value in investing in the lives of others or in believing in God.
Through a somewhat long trail of mishaps and unwanted events, Bethany finds herself facing the past she wanted to bury and friends she felt she no longer needed.
Although Bethany was far more extreme in her self-sufficiency and isolationism, I could see a glimpse of myself in her life. An even stronger resemblance was found in the character of Robin, the former best friend of Bethany’s, who had lived a fairy tale life until tragedy struck.
A series of events that could only be defined as divinely orchestrated, forced the two hurting women together again, one a stoic mask of bitterness, the other a haunting shell of indescribable pain.
Robin felt alone in the iron grip of grief, Bethany in her self-righteous resentment. But as they were forced to lean on each other, they both began to experience healing.
In their isolation they were lost, but by battling together the former friends were able to survive their individual nightmares.
In an attempt to keep herself busy, Bethany helped Robin find purpose in living. Eventually, Bethany’s self-sufficient façade was shattered, and over time she realized her need for God.
As the story unfolded, I found myself getting frustrated with Bethany’s superior attitude and Robin’s apparent unending sorrow. A part of me wanted to jump right to the love and romance. To get everything smoothed out quickly.
However, the story’s realism was actually the feature that drew me in and held me fast. Grief wasn’t relieved overnight. Questioning God and His purpose ran throughout the book. The messiness of life was revealed in its totality.
As I devoured the story (staying up much too late to finish it), an image kept popping up in my mind. One of a dance where several steps are taken forward and then back again. This is how our journeys through this broken world play out.
Life isn’t a neat package and neither is faith.
Katie Ganshert does a masterful job portraying a bit of, I believe, all our walks in her characters. Not tying up life with a neat little bow, but revealing the fringes and tears in the wrapping. She writes the reality of redemption, not perfection.
Going alone, hiding our fears and pain—being self-sufficient—was not Katie’s final plan for Bethany and is not God’s plan for us. He offers another way. He created relationship, with Him and with others. It’s up to us to embrace both.
“Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
Share in the Discussion: Have you tried to hide your pain and do life on your own? Do you have a redemption story to tell? I’d love to have you share it. And if you are facing winter now, please tell me how I can pray for you.
Remembering the Fallen
As a teenager I had a dream (actually I had more than one, but I was somewhat serious about this one—at least for awhile): I wanted to be in the United States Army. And not just doing anything. My desire was to be an Army helicopter pilot.
I became so enamored with that branch of the Armed Forces that I spent hours sitting on my bed drawing and memorizing the ranks and insignia of Army officers and enlisted personnel. Envisioning myself flying those huge copters in service to my country was exciting.
However, not all dreams come true, and I never did join the military. But I’ve always carried a deep love for this country and utmost respect for our servicemen and women.
Men and women in uniform deserve our year-round support, thanks, and admiration.
We also need to intentionally and regularly honor the memories of those who gave their lives to keep America the “land of the free.” The holiday we celebrate today, Memorial Day (first officially observed in 1868 as Decoration Day), was established to do just that.
Unfortunately, it has lost much of its meaning over the years. Today, for many, Memorial Day is little more than a three-day weekend. Simply a time to have fun and relax.
It breaks my heart to think of those men and women, like my Uncle Harlan (who I never knew because he gave his life serving in the Korean War), whose service and ultimate sacrifice are casually tossed aside and nearly forgotten. There is often little homage paid to those fallen heroes.
I pray there is a resurgence of pride in this great nation and a renewal of gratitude and respect toward those willing to serve to defend her.
So today, on this Memorial Day, I implore you to take a few moments (right now if you haven’t done so already) to remember, reflect and honor those who have selflessly given their all in service to their country.
I extend my most heartfelt thanks to all the men and women in uniform. And to Uncle Harlan and his compatriots who gave their lives so others can be safe and free, you have my deepest respect. We will remember.
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)
Share in the Discussion: Is there a fallen hero you would like to honor? Mention them in a comment for all of us to remember.
I have so much to be thankful for. Here are a few (#653–671) on my march toward one thousand and beyond (view them all by clicking here):
- A plant specially potted for me; Hubby filling in so I can meet a deadline; Boys playing evening badminton together
- Sharing memories with my children through photos; Clean bill of health for me; “Littles” and Mommies
- Rachel’s attempt to imitate my singing/humming; Sharing the afternoon with my youngest; Oriole’s beautiful morning song
- Lulled to sleep by a spring storm; Soil’s amazing capacity to support life; Playing badminton—carefully and poorly
- Shelter from the storm; Memory-capturing photographs; Abundance of books available to enjoy
- Big, brown, doe eyes of horses; “Easy” conversations; Boys 2 and 3 planting my garden—such a needed help
- All who died in service to this nation
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What Will This Day Bring? {Opportunity}
It’s a Friday, and once again, I’m jumping on board The Gypsy Mama’s Five Minute Friday bus. Writing for five minutes flat (okay, I’m not sure I’ve ever quit after 5) stretches my creativity, but more importantly, forces me to write concisely. Hope you enjoy. Today’s prompt is Opportunity.
GO
Every day awakes, stretches out before me. Beckoning me.
What will this day bring? In some ways I’m not sure, but in others, it’s up to me.
Will it be a good day? That depends—not so much on my circumstances, but more on me!
Will I choose to look at today through a glass half full or half empty? Will I see others and events as obstacles to get through or opportunities to pursue? Will I determine to be intentional or to merely react, to embrace this day with joy or apprehension?
There will be the mailman, the delivery man, strangers, and friends. There will be park workers, solicitors, my children, and my husband.
How will I treat them? Are they annoyances or blessings?
What will this day bring? How about opportunity! After all it is up to me.
What will you choose?
STOP
“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24, HCSB)
Wow! Another reason to rejoice is I completed my Five Minute Friday writing in five minutes for the first time ever!
Share in the Discussion: How do you begin your days? Does it matter?
Know that I am blessed by your visits and value your comments. If you find my writings encouraging, please share them with others by clicking one of the buttons below. I love to pray for you and hear your stories!
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Maintaining a Well-Manicured Lawn {God’s Way}
Have you ever noticed some plants are harder to mow than others? They just don’t cut easily, especially when they are allowed to grow a little longer … or when the mower blades are dull … or when I drive too fast.
This happened to me a couple weeks ago.
It required several passes over some patches before the lawn looked sufficiently manicured. I finally finished, rather frustrated, vowing never to let the grass get so tall again and beseeching my mower-maintaining husband to sharpen the mower blades.
However, it won’t be long before this scenario is repeated. The lawn will continue to grow—and get away from me, rarely will I mow at the most opportune time, and sharp blades won’t compensate for everything, like poor mowing habits.
Conquering sinful habits (my critical nature, for instance) is somewhat like my mowing problem. They are not easy to control, and the problems don’t just go away:
No matter how many vows I make, I keep slipping back into those familiar habits.
No matter how good my intentions are, time slips away, and I don’t “mow” soon enough.
No matter how often the “blades” are sharpened, if I drive too fast, the patches remain stubbornly tall.
Many times in the past (and some instances in the present), I’ve felt like a failure as those annoying human habits I’m trying to wipe out resurface again and again. Anybody with me here?
I try hard—I really do. I have good intentions. I do all the right things. What gives?
Me! That’s what.
It’s taken years to realize, I can do little good that will stick by my own strength. My will, my intentions, my efforts aren’t enough.
Paul encourages us that we can
“do all things through Him who strengthens” (Philippians 4:13 HCSB, emphasis mine).
Did you get that? Through Him! Not on my mine. Not by my own efforts. Not because I want to badly enough.
It is easy for me to leave the Lord out, or at least, to regulate Him to a secondary support system: If I fail, I’ll pull in my backup. That mindset is a recipe for frustration.
There are several practical actions I can incorporate in order to keep the grass of my life from getting out of control and becoming unseemly:
- I can replace each bad habit with an alternative.
- I can slow down as hyper-speed allows no opportunity to assess the cause of the problem.
- I can be timely and persistent in my mowing as intentional, regular mowings are essential to a well-manicured (never perfect) life.
- I can be realistic as there is only One perfect, and it is not me, nor you.
But most importantly, I can cultivate the habit of keeping the blades (tools) sharpened and the lawnmower properly serviced by being daily in Word and prayer. The Lord will help, but not if I shut Him out.
Hmm, better yet, maybe I’ll just let Him be the driver in the first place …
Are you with me?
“His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness” (1 Peter 1:3 HCSB).
Share in the Discussion: What is keeping you from having a well-manicured lawn of life? Have you let the Lord be your driver?
Know that I am blessed by your visits and value your comments. If you find my writings encouraging, please share them with others by clicking one of the buttons below. I love to pray for you and hear your stories!
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Coolness of evening descends. Hummers flit their last dances to drink in homemade nectar.
Perfection. Beauty. Stillness.
I sit contemplating the events of the past 48 hours. A whirlwind of activity. A jumble of emotions.
Graduation parties began in earnest Saturday, and Sunday was THE day. A day of excitement, apprehension, joy, and yes, some sadness (at least for a couple of us). A day filled with nostalgia for me. The day my firstborn officially graduated from high school.
It started off with a church tribute to our graduates featuring a slideshow of their activities through the years, while a foursome, including his brother, sang the heart-tugging “Find Your Wings” written by Mark R. Harris and Tony W. Wood.
Doubly emotional for a sentimental mama like me!
The near-man was/is/has been ready. His mom, not so much.
It’s not that I’m fearful for him or unsure of his abilities or wanting him to stay forever young. But I will miss him, terribly! And more than that, his rite of passage heralds in a parental shift that I’m not altogether ready for.
How quickly his siblings will follow suit!
As I watched the seniors stride across the stage and reach for their diplomas, I wondered what the future held for each. Is she ready to live life on her own? Is he grounded in what is important? Is their hope placed in the one and only trustworthy Guide?
And the age-old question that must pass through every Christian parent’s mind crept into mine: Did I do a good enough job discipling my child? I have to trust the answer is yes.
I want to sit with each young man and woman. Pass on hard-won truths. Point out that their future glows brightest when it is less about “me,” more about “we,” and mostly about “Him.”
I want to ingrain the wisdom of Solomon into their beings.
So to all the graduates and near-graduates, this is for you:
My son, don’t forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commands;
2 for they will bring you
many days, a full life, and well-being.
3 Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will find favor and high regard
in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding;
6 think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.
7 Don’t consider yourself to be wise;
fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 This will be healing for your body
and strengthening for your bones.
9 Honor the Lord with your possessions
and with the first produce of your entire harvest;
10 then your barns will be completely filled,
and your vats will overflow with new wine.
11 Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son,
and do not loathe His discipline;
12 for the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
just as a father, the son he delights in.
13 Happy is a man who finds wisdom
and who acquires understanding,
14 for she is more profitable than silver,
and her revenue is better than gold.
15 She is more precious than jewels;
nothing you desire compares with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left, riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant,
and all her paths, peaceful.
18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her,
and those who hold on to her are happy.
19 The Lord founded the earth by wisdom
and established the heavens by understanding.
20 By His knowledge the watery depths broke open,
and the clouds dripped with dew.
21 Maintain your competence and discretion.
My son, don’t lose sight of them.
22 They will be life for you
and adornment for your neck.
23 Then you will go safely on your way;
your foot will not stumble.
24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
you will lie down, and your sleep will be pleasant.
25 Don’t fear sudden danger
or the ruin of the wicked when it comes,
26 for the Lord will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from a snare.
27 When it is in your power,
don’t withhold good from the one it belongs to.
28 Don’t say to your neighbor, “Go away! Come back later.
I’ll give it tomorrow”—when it is there with you.
29 Don’t plan any harm against your neighbor,
for he trusts you and lives near you.
30 Don’t accuse anyone without cause,
when he has done you no harm.
31 Don’t envy a violent man
or choose any of his ways;
32 for the devious are detestable to the Lord,
but He is a friend to the upright.
33 The Lord’s curse is on the household of the wicked,
but He blesses the home of the righteous;
34 He mocks those who mock,
but gives grace to the humble.
35 The wise will inherit honor,
but He holds up fools to dishonor.
—Proverbs 3,HCSB
Share in the Discussion: What words of wisdom would you pass on to graduates given the chance?
Linking with A Holy Experience to celebrate my graduate and all the other sweet gifts of joy I’m blessed with, #632–652 (view them all here):
- All students safe in fugitive scare; sweet scent of lilacs; Son accepted into college Honors Program=to God be the glory
- Miraculous healing power of God heralded by an acquaintance; celebrating my youngest’s events; scanner convenience
- Special prayers for our graduates at tonight’s baccalaureate; homemade strawberry pie—unbeatable!; worship songs
- God’s fingerprints; medical advancements; reminders of what’s truly important
- Lost teeth; His presence in my overwhelmed absence; Met need
- Seeing a spider knock itself out—no kidding!; Faith; Cool, creamy ice cream
- My first baby’s high school graduation—so proud!; Spending all day with family; Cake balls—gotta love ‘em
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Seeing Imperfectly {Perspective}
On Fridays I like to link with The Gypsy Mama for 5 Minute Fridays where we write unhindered and unedited for 5 minutes straight—addressing a different topic each week. Only lately it seems I don’t get 5 minutes to write until Saturday morning.
This week’s prompt, Perspective, is perfect for this time in my life.
So here goes …
GO
The day wasn’t much different from any other; the moment similar to many.
Only this time the weight laid heavy on my heart.
Tears came hard and fast as I contemplated how to take one more step, one more day with this burden of caring for my daughter day after day.
Then relief erupted nearly as suddenly. Blessed relief in the pure joy of living … this life … poured out for me! This life as the honored mother of such a precious gift.
One hour I’m so excited for my graduating son, I can hardly contain myself; the next I’m filling Lake Erie with my tears, imagining him on his own in a few short months.
My mood is as changeable as the weather in Iowa. If you don’t like it, just wait a few minutes, it will be different.
There are days when I am bursting with the love and passion I feel for my Lord. And the next I’m doing isolation and confusion.
Sometimes I am wrapped with the confidence to boldly share my story; other times I’m gripped with fear.
Such fickleness is disconcerting, even a little maddening (okay, maybe a lot)! But the answer lies simply in perspective.
When God designed my life, He planned it perfectly. However, I only see imperfectly. My eyes (and mind) can’t comprehend the enormity of a life made in God’s image.
So I will continue to stumble. I will continue to cry one minute and laugh the next. I will continue to be on cloud nine this day and deep in the pit of despair the next.
I will continue to reflect bits of God’s glory only now and again. But I won’t give up. Because one day, I will have the perspective of the Lord …
… and “see” that it is all grace!
STOP
“For as heaven is higher than earth,
so My ways are higher than your ways,
and My thoughts than your thoughts.”—Isaiah 55:9, HCSB
Join in the Discussion: Have you been discouraged when some days it seems you take more steps backward then forward in your spirit? What actions are you taking to lessen the feelings of confusion, isolation, and heavy weight of sadness?
Know that I am blessed by your visits and value your comments. If you find my writings encouraging, please share them with others by clicking one of the buttons below. I love to pray for you and hear your stories!
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The Ideal Summer {Help!}
The changes of the seasons invigorate me. Spring into summer perhaps more than any of the others.
As the days get warmer, I gear up for many activities I love: gardening, hiking, exploring, kayaking/canoeing.
More than anything, though, late spring ushers in family time! School is out. The days are waiting to be filled with memories of togetherness.
.
Honestly, I’d be a homeschooling mom in a perfect world. Since this world is not perfect, and I do not home school, I try to pack summer break with all things family.
However, I might become a tad obsessed to that end—striving to make each day reflect a picture-perfect “Leave it to Beaver” idealism. What I fail to take into account are real-life imperfection and individual differences. I tend to clutter the days with activities instead of relationship.
My mind is filled with images of those ideal lazy summer days of my youth. Reality is, that isn’t reality now and wasn’t reality then.
I whitewashed my childhood and projected that as truth. Then I spend my days planning how to make that imaginative perception come to life.
In the process of scheduling in perfection, I can easily miss (and have) the real joys sprinkled throughout each day. Over-scheduling and over-planning chase away the fun.
Summer break flies by quickly, and I still believe it is wise to do some planning. But I’ve discovered flexibility and lowering my expectations are the keys to ensuring a memorable summer filled with fabulous family-building moments (this goes for any vacations as well).
Some of my favorite photos and memories came from “spur-of-the-moment” outings: playing in the creek, overnight caving trips, an afternoon of canoeing, impromptu bike rides.
Nonetheless—although the 18 years of parenting have mellowed and educated me in many ways—I still struggle with this aspect of living in the moment. It is not easy for me to just let life happen, especially when it comes to my children.
I want to ensure they are all present for each summer experience—to “force” togetherness—to project my definition of ideal summers on them.
I want to be in control. Summer, more than any other season, spotlights that character flaw in me.
So I’m looking to you, my dear readers, for encouragement as I gear up for 90 days of togetherness. Will you provide me some inspiration?
Do you lean toward planning the fun out of summer or do relationships trump activity? What ways have you filled your days with family, love, and joy? Do you have pointers for making a smooth transition from school days to home? I’d really like to know.
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24).
Know that I am blessed by your visits and value your comments. If you find my writings encouraging, please share them with others by clicking one of the buttons below. I love to pray for you and hear your stories!
